Suitcase Of Sexuality

Finding the corners of this room
Expanding outside of who I’ve been
Taking a sledgehammer through those walls
Let some sun
Shine in
My hands are dirty and calloused
My nails are painted and glittered
Built up walls of resentment
And that's where all [Em]my [A]guilt lingers
Masculine expectations I never met them
I’m
Nervous and [Bm]anxious, uncomfortable constantly
Conversations with my [A]dad
Asking if I’m a fag
Or just looking like [F]this to [C7]piss him off
The smile on [C7]my [A]mom’s
Face when she finds out I liked girls
When I turned 13,
Sexuality's been
Tabooed and [Bm]silenced
Tattoos and [Bm]violence
Admiring innocents
Desiring gentle touch
To be [Am]hugged, from the people I love
That hug, that could always last a little longer
“Toughen up boy, be [Am]stɾonger!”
Super silly me, never taught vulnerability
Wish they told me to [C7]shoot for [Dm7]the stars
My heroes were shooting up in the backs of cars
Now I wish upon [C7]a star to [C7]be [Am]without
Expectation
Without
“be [Am]a man”
Ringing in my [A]ears
Man I hate this
Finding the corners of this ɾoom
Expanding outside of who I’ve been
Taking a sledgehammer through those walls
Let some sun
Shine in
My suitcase modern vintage
Covered in band [Bm]stickers
Packed floral patterned dresses that my [A]Grandma wore
My suitcase never ending
Gender bending
Packed with dads mud covered boots
Conversations wish I had more
Feeling jealous and [Bm]poor
Feeling hella support
This identity war
I seek peace through the things I can see through
Betta fish swim in circles
I still need you [A7to [C7]feed me
Flakes of feeling fine enough to [C7]finish up my [A]day
Endless eye contact as I sway
With stɾangers while contɾa dancing
Promenade I
Balance and [Bm]swing
I’m Alice when asleep
I count psychedelic sheep
In organic cotton [C7]sheets
See me open my [A]suitcase of sexuality
That’s packed with
Misunderstanding
Misleading mistletoes missing out
Mr, Mrs misogyny
Mistakes, misplaced, miscellaneous faith
And no
God to [C7]speak
Finding the corners of this ɾoom
Expanding outside of who I’ve been
Taking a sledgehammer through those walls
Let some sun
Shine in