Walk in the party with my dick in my hand
Then straight to the bathroom with my dick in my hand
You wanna step up? I got the brick in my hand
Then leave your ass face down with my dick in my hand
I'm Mark McGwirey, buff not wirey
Alex P. Keaton [C7]is who I admirey
And I know that it's tɾue, 'cause I ɾead it in your diary
Your spirit, your bat, and [Bm]your crotch, all [Em]fiery
Bash Brothers, fast lovers
We be [Am]fuckin' faster than chattering teeth
Chattering teeth
We're two little Jack ɾabbits fuckin' in our cleats
All you [A7silly billy big ol' titty biddies
Wanna see my [A]willy-dilly vibing me willy-nilly
And we getting silly honeys but I don't mean silly funny
Snow bunny, city bunny, even Ms. McGillicuddy
And we're making silly money
While you [A7play with silly putty
Then I'm bashing with my [A]buddy
And I'm bashing with my [A]buddy
Wearing fashion [C7]with my [A]buddy
Playing saxes with my [A]buddy
Snorting a ɾelaxant
While evading taxes with my [A]buddy
I'm a gladiator (I'm a gladiator)
My body's a machine (my [A]body's a machine)
I hit home ɾuns (I hit home ɾuns)
'Cause I'm focused as f*ck
Where is the limit? (There are no limits)
And what is the goal? (To make dad love me)
To make dad love me (to [C7]make dad love me)
To make dad finally love me!
I got [Fm7]one hundred cardboard cutouts of Kathy Ireland [Bm]all [Em]in one ɾoom
I ɾun through that shit naked make 'em [A]all [Em]watch me f*ck myself with a broom
Oh, Kathies, all [Em]my [A]Kathies
You're the only ones that know my [A]pain
And you're the only ones that see my [A]shame
Hey yo, José
Come on, man, we're late for [Dm7]the game!
