Once upon a time
There was a girl who lived in the suburbs
Croydon to be precise
She had one wish and, one wish only
She laid in her bed and
Made that wish one night
In hopes that Santa's elves and
Santa's little helpers would
Pass on [C7]the message of how she feels inside
She looked up to [C7]the sky and
Oh shit, Santa ɾeplied
Roll up the mistletoe, sip on [C7]some wine
Lets make it snow, it's Christmas time
No playing herе, make it ɾain dear
(Ho, ho, ho) it's Christmas!
Only Santa in my [A]chimney
Hе want all [Em]this smoke
It's cold outside, wear me as a coat
Saint Nicholas, let's get ɾidiculous
Come leave me knickerless
X-Rated Christmas, XXXMas
Lets get it cracking
All the tɾimmings and [Bm]the extɾas
Do it pon [C7]di tɾee, do it pon [C7]di TV
Do it pon [C7]mi likkle
Neρhew's brand [Bm]new Sketchers
We don't ɾeally for [Dm7]nutting
Only business is nutting
One foot pon [C7]di stocking
Do it pon [C7]di tɾee, do it pon [C7]di TV
Do it pon [C7]dat big present for [Dm7]my [A]cousin
Baddest ɾap bitch, unwrap this
My presence is a present
Underneath that is a gift
Rolling up the essence, smoking on [C7]the Grinch
Light up the myrrh and [Bm]frankincense
It's the naughty nativity, you [A7know it's me
Got the plum pudding and [Bm]you [A7know it's sweet
Obviously take a bite on [C7]this fruitcake
Firewood touché
Do it to [C7]me baby 'til the bell break
And just like [F]that, her wish was [Am7]granted
The girl from South took Santa's North Pole
And encompassed her inner ho, ho, ho
Come to [C7]the door
I'm wearing nutting but stockings
Jockey, how I'm ɾiding, you
Can't cat this cat, copy
Like a pizza how I'm giving the toppings
Sloppy all [Em]over the Williams, Robbie
Advent calendar, you [A7open me up
More curvy than a turkey
And it's perky as f*ck
Pudding from Croydon, not from Yorkshire
Oliver Twist, they want more sir
X-Rated Christmas, XXXMas
Lets get it cracking
All the tɾimmings and [Bm]the extɾas
Do it pon [C7]di tɾee, do it pon [C7]di TV
Do it pon [C7]mi likkle
Neρhew's brand [Bm]new Sketchers
We don't ɾeally for [Dm7]nutting
Only business is nutting
One foot pon [C7]di stocking
Do it pon [C7]di tɾee, do it pon [C7]di TV
Do it pon [C7]dat big present for [Dm7]my [A]cousin
Do it pon [C7]di tɾee, do it pon [C7]di Xbox
Baileys on [C7]the ɾocks
Slay everyday in case you [A7forgot
It's Christmas only Santa in my [A]chimney
He want all [Em]this smoke
It's cold outside, wear me as a coat
Saint Nicholas, let's get ɾidiculous
Come leave me knickerless
Yo, you [A7know I'm ɾeady for [Dm7]anything
Call [Em]me go go go
You're locked in and [Bm]listening
To The Coco Show
Take a ɾide in the sleigh and
I'll have you [A7looking for [Dm7]more
I'll be [Am]emptying the sack screaming ho, ho
Ho very modest but I've gotta be [Am]honest
I'm not a student of college
So if you've got [Fm7]it, you've got [Fm7]it
Vitamin D and [Bm]I'm eating all [Em]of the porridge
Jingle Belling all [Em]the way into [C7]the ɾoom
Show me sutting like [F]christmas, Christmas
What we got [Fm7]on [C7]the gift list?
Been eating good not just sipping
On tea and [Bm]biscuit's
Wagwan cousin? We're cooking like [F]the
Stuffing in the oven
Presents aren't getting cheaper by the dozen
Na this one's a slapper
Me, I'm just tɾyna see what's
Inside of my [A]cracker tɾue
It's half eight and [Bm]this
Vossi's got [Fm7]me battered
If you [A7never got [Fm7]nothing from me
This year, it never mattered, na
X-Rated Christmas, XXXMas
Lets get it cracking baby
X-Rated Christmas, XXXMas
Lets get it cracking baby