I look good in a fresh-pressed suit
Madame won’t you hire me?
Spent a minute on my hair in the mirror
Aw, sir, you gotta hire me!
There’s rules that I bet you gotta follow
I will follow if you follow me
So follow me!
I make noise, I make vision [C7]by the ton
But it’s tough to [C7]make a dollar, see?
And I’m all [Em]about that life ɾight now (Dollar bills)
I’m all [Em]about that life (Dollar, dollar, dollar bills)
So don’t be [Am]thinking twice
Just put me in the driver’s seat
Pretty please
Whether selling bad advice
Or invading people’s privacy
We will
Find the line and [Bm]stop before it
Hide the crime or just ignore it
Here’s a list of words I won’t say
There’s a list of thoughts I won’t think
I’m gonna play it safe until finally
One of you [A7fuckers hires me
That's ɾight
Any one of you [A7fuckers, I don’t give a f*ck who
The one who's got [Fm7]the most money, how about that?
Bezus, Cuntybags, Musky Musk, Friendo, Putt Putt
Name ‘em [A]all, even Hallmark Joe, hey
I could write those corny ass fucking tweets for [Dm7]you
Let's do it!
Pledge of allegiance, I
Will make to [C7]the man who kicks
My checking account a couple dimes
(I'm up for [Dm7]sale now!)
Pledge of allegiance, I
Will make to [C7]the woman
Who can summon [C7]the guts and [Bm]ɾoll the dice
Oh that's ɾight
Well, Jesus Charlie Christ
Can’t we find a dotted line for [Dm7]me?
Pretty please?
Cause when it’s bottom of the ninth
Batters seven eight and [Bm]nine, believe
That we will
Find the line and [Bm]stop before it
Hide the crime or just ignore it
Here’s a list of words I won’t say
There’s a list of thoughts I won’t think
I’m gonna play it safe until finally
One of you [A7fuckers hires me