How does the drunkest person on the bus
Wake up and manage to take such good care of us?
An honorable man that's impossible to hate
Even though his laugh to joke ratio is about one and eight
What is it about him, what sets him apart?
How does such a tiny person [C7]have such a big heart?
He only sometimes drops the ball
Like the six times he told the bus to [C7]leave
When one of us was [Am7]at a petɾol station [C7]shitting in a bathroom stall
That's David Pollack, alcoholic
Real dedication [C7]to [C7]inebriation
My friend David, master of kung fu
We're all [Em]singing this song [Am]just to [C7]say thank you
And one day we're gonna get you [A7back
He's not a giant man but he ɾepresents some giant voices
But sometimes Alcopollack doesn't make the greatest choices
He might excel in tours and [Bm]food, but he lacks a bit in tact
He told Dexter that his band [Bm]sucks and [Bm]he called Matt Freeman fat
He pissed off Graffin and [Bm]insulted Tres Cool's first wife and [Bm]fiancée
That's how he lost Bad Religion, the Offspring
Rancid, Pennywise, the Mad Caddies, Rise Against
But the one that hurt the most must've been Green Day
That's Alcopollack, ρhilanthro-folic
Grappa all [Em]nighter, bar fight inciter
My friend David, for [Dm7]all [Em]your dedication
This song's for [Dm7]you [A7to [C7]show our appreciation
But why do you [A7always have to [C7]be [Am]on [C7]vacation?
