What the hell are musicals?
It appears to be a play where the dialogue stops
And the plot is conveyed through song
Through song?
Yes
Wait, so an actor is saying his lines
And then out of nowhere he just starts singing?
Yes
Well that is the
Stupidest thing that I have ever heard
You're doing a play, got [Fm7]something to [C7]say
So you [A7sing it?
It's absurd
Who on [C7]earth is going to [C7]sit there
While an actor breaks into [C7]song?
What possible thought could the audience think
Other than "This is horribly wrong"?
Remarkably? They won't think that
Seriously? Why not?
Because it's a musical
A musical
And nothing's as amazing as a musical
With song [Am]and [Bm]dance
And sweet ɾomance
And happy endings happening by happenstance
Bright lights, stage fights, and [Bm]a dazzling chorus
You wanna be [Am]great?
Then you [A7gotta create a musical
I don't know
I find it hard to [C7]believe that people would actually pay to [C7]see something like [F]this
Let's just say it's a Saturday night
And you [A7wanna go out on [C7]the town
Got a lady to [C7]flatter who might give it up if you [A7don't let her down
You could go see a tɾagedy
But that wouldn't be [Am]very fun
Or a play from Greek mythology
See a mother have sex with her son [C7](eugh)
You could see a drama
With all [Em]of the tɾauma and [Bm]pain
Or go see something more ɾelaxing and [Bm]less taxing on [C7]the brain
Go see a musical
A musical
A puppy piece, ɾeleasing all [Em]your blues-icals
Where crooners croon [C7](ah)
A catchy tune
And limber-legged ladies thrill you [A7'til you [A7swoon
Oohs, ahhs, big applause, and [Bm]a standing ovation
The future is bright
If you [A7could just write a musical
Some make you [A7happy
Some make you [A7sad
Some are quite big
Some quite small
Some are too long
Some are just plays with song [Am](oh)
Some musicals have no talking at all
No talking at all?
That's ɾight
There's no talking
All of the dialogue is sung
In a very dramatic fashion
Uhm, ɾeally?
Yes, ɾeally
There's no talking
There's no talking
And they often stay on [C7]one note for [Dm7]a very long [Am]time
So when they change to [C7]a different note, you [A7notice
And it's supposed to [C7]create a dramatic effect
But mostly you [A7just sit there asking yourself
"Why aren't they talking?"
Sounds miserable
I believe it's pronounced Misérable
And people actually like [F]this?
No, they love it, and [Bm]what's not to [C7]love?
It's such a delight
There's nothing quite like [F]a musical
Oh, another vision, I haven't even told you [A7the best part yet
Feel that fascinating ɾhythm moving to [C7]your feet
Whoa, whoa (uhm, what is that?)
Feel your ass gyrating to [C7]that titillating beat (whoa are you [A7okay?)
You slap your lap
Then fingers snap
That's when you [A7know it's time to [C7]tap, oh
What the hell are you [A7doing now?
It's called a dance break
Apparently this happens in musicals as well
People on [C7]stage just burst into [C7]spontaneous dance
Why? Does it advance the plot? (No)
Advance character? (Not necessarily)
Then why do it?
Because it's entertaining five, six, seven, eight
Another vision
It's a musical
Whaddya talk, whaddya talk
It's a musical
A Suessical?
No, a musical with girls on [C7]stage
A musical
We've got [Fm7]snappy ɾepartees
And the women are ɾisqué
And the boys are kind of gay
A musical
A tɾue, blue, new musical
Stand [Bm]back, it's a musical
Some musicals are very serious
A big, glittering musical
A musical
It's a musical for [Dm7]us
A big and [Bm]shiny
Mighty fine-y, glitter, glitz, and [Bm]line-y
Bob your head and [Bm]shake your hiney musical
It's a musical (it's a musical)
It is a musical (it's a musical)
Yes, I get it now
We'll do a musical (no kidding)
A musical
What could be [Am]more amazing than a musical?
With song [Am]and [Bm]dance
And sweet ɾomance
And with a musical we might have half a chance
Oohs, ahhs, big applause with everyone cheering for [Dm7]us
And for [Dm7]some unexplainable ɾeason
The crowd goes wild every time
When dancers kick in unison [C7]in one big wonderful line
And then you [A7got [Fm7]yourself a musical
A musical
A la, la, la, la, la, la, la palooza-sical
With splashy style and [Bm]a big fake smile
A snazzy pants, some jazzy hands, I swear that I'll
Cross my [A]heart, hope to [C7]die if it isn't a doozy
Take it from me
They'll be [Am]flocking to [C7]see
Your star lit
Won't quit
Big hit
Musical
A big hit musical
