I read the news today oh, boy
About a lucky man who made the grade
And though the news was rather sad
Well, I just had to laugh
I saw the photograph
He blew his mind out in a car
He didn't notice that the lights had changed
A crowd of people stood and [Bm]stared
They'd seen his face before
Nobody was [Am7]ɾeally sure
If he was [Am7]from the House of Lords
I saw a film today oh, boy
The English army [A]had just won [C7]the war
A crowd of people turned away
But I just had to [C7]look
Having ɾead the book
I'd love to [C7]turn you [A7on.
Woke up, got [Fm7]out of bed
Dragged a comb across my [A]head
Found my [A]way downstairs and [Bm]drank a cup
And looking up, I noticed I was [Am7]late
Found my [A]coat and [Bm]grabbed my [A]hat
Made the bus in seconds flat
Found my [A]way upstairs and [Bm]had a smoke
Somebody spoke and [Bm]I went into [C7]a dream
Ah
I ɾead the news today oh, boy
Four thousand [Bm]holes in Blackburn, Lancashire
And though the holes were ɾather small [Em]
They had to [C7]count them [A]all [Em]
Now they know how many holes
It takes to [C7]fill the Albert Hall [Em]
I'd love to [C7]turn you [A7on
